I recently read an article in the newspaper about a girl in Mississippi who wanted to attend prom. She had everything planned; her outfit, her after-party plans and most importantly, her date. Everything was going according to plan until the school canceled the entire event allegedly because the person she wanted to take to prom was a girl.

At first when I read this I was stunned. I wondered how a place in 2010 could be so backward that they would end the culminating experience of the hardworking seniors simply because of one person’s choice of date. It didn’t seem fair. In fact, in many ways it seemed barbaric.

Then I thought about my own high school experience, and I remembered that something similar happened to someone I went to school with. This guy had decided that he was going to celebrate both the end of his high school experience as well as his coming out by taking a guy from our opposing high school to prom. Now, it must be said that the ordeal of having outside guests at our prom was a long, strenuous experience that required you to apply for your tickets in advance with the approval of the administration. Everything looked like it was going to work out, until the day before prom when he was called into the administrator’s office to discuss what was vaguely reported to be “last minute questions about prom requests”. But he was told that his date request had been denied. My school however, unlike the one in Mississippi, was slightly more covert and said they were denying it because the presence of a member from our rival high school at prom had the potential to be catastrophic. My friend saw right through this, as two of his friends were also bringing dates from this school and their requests had been accepted. Nonetheless, the school pretended that this was an oversight on their part. When he asked if there was any way that he could appeal this decision, he was told that all appeals had to be presented in writing at least a week before prom. Defeated, but not entirely surprised, he finally gave in and took a girl. When I asked him why he decided to do this, he replied, “Not everything should have to be a fight. I’m so close to being out of high school that I’m exhausted.”

I should mention that my high school, as well as the town where my high school was located, are known widely (for better or for worse) for being extraordinarily progressive. We pride ourselves on this. Whenever someone asks the administrators of our high school what our most recent accomplishment is, they proudly boast that we hosted the first gay Olympics in 2007, or that we have an estimated out 29% LGBTQ population.

So when I took another look at the fact that this school in a rural part of Mississippi was doing something that I thought was unfounded, I had to step back and realize how close to home it hit, even in my supposed “liberal” hometown.

I followed up on this story and read a few days later that the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is suing this Mississippi school. Unlike my friend, they decided that sometimes things do have to be fought for. Gay marriage may not be on the horizon for all of the country yet, but gay-visibility certainly should be. While I obviously do not fault my friend for not wanting to be a martyr, I am still sad that this occurrence was kept quiet. I find it disheartening that every time I think small steps toward gay equality is being achieved; incidents like these remind me that there is still a long way to go. I applaud the ACLU for taking on this fight and sending the message that being LGBTQ does not mean being a second-class individual.

Reflecting on my own experience and reading this article has taught me that there will always be that potential for growth. Fights for equality are not won by thinking, “next time I’ll say something” or blindly accepting something that doesn’t feel right. Every place has the ability to open their minds a little more every day, and I am proud to say that I still think in many ways, it is happening slowly but surely.